


Lost In You

by Destiel1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:14:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8674036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel1967/pseuds/Destiel1967
Summary: Dean sat in his apartment, trying to drown himself away in alcohol. He just wanted to forget. To forget everything. For the past year he had been struggling to get over the fact that the one person he loved more than anything was gone. Cas was gone, and Dean now spent his days now wandering around the apartment they had shared, laying on his side of the bed for hours until the memories come flooding back in and he couldn't help but do the only thing he could to wash them away again. Drink. The one thing that would make him forget for a while. Drink. Yet, it was the one thing that Cas had hated; when Dean would drink too much at the bar and come home sick. Drinking seemed to ease the pain just a little. Alcohol had become his friend; his shoulder to cry on in the middle of a long sleepless night when he couldn't help but think of the person who should be filling the spot in the bed next to him...the perfect man who Dean now had only memories of...





	1. Dean's POV

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to anyone who may stubble across this and choose to read it. This is my first published work and I would love any comments and constructive criticism that I can get to make my writing better. This will be the first chapter of how ever many it takes me to feel that I have completed the story. THANKS!!

"Hey, I'm Dean." I said over the sound of "Lost in You" playing in the diner once I had made it to his table.

"Oh, um, hi. My name is Castiel. Nice to meet you." he replied.

"So, uh. What brings you to town. I don't think I have ever seen you around before?"

"Um, well; I just got a job here has a history teacher here. I just got here about an hour ago."

Those were the first words I said when I met Cas. The moment I walked into that diner and saw him, I knew that there was something about him that I loved. I didn't know if it was the way he shyly smiled at me when I came over to his table, or his big blue eyes that looked as if they contained an entire ocean inside them. 

Ha, that's right. He was a teacher. He was trying to be a civilized, professional man. Unlike me of course, then I was just young kid about twenty years old with an old car from his father who wanted to be a racer. Just some crazy, wild dreams. Dreams that I realize now were not really dreams, just distractions that kept me from realizing my true dream. A dream to find love, and happiness, and a family. I used to think that I would find this with him, but that soon got changed.

Anyways, that night Cas and I spent hours at the diner talking, telling joke after joke, and laughing at each other. He was so funny, so genuine and sincere; and I on the other hand tried to play the bad boy, tough guy card to impress him. It must have worked because when the night staff at the diner finally had to kick us out, we walked around for another hour or so just talking.

"So, Cas. Where are you staying?"

"Um, well I don't really know yet. I figured I would find a cheap hotel around here to spend my first few nights in until I find an apartment."

"That is ridiculous. I have an apartment, why don't you just crash there for a few days until you find yourself a nice place? It is no trouble to me."

"Oh, no. I couldn't. You probably have so much going on, you don't need to worry about me too. Plus, you probably have a girlfriend or something and I wouldn't want to intrude."

"No, really. It is fine. I don't have a girlfriend, I haven't really been able to find my type around here, and there is no one else living with me. Truth is I get pretty lonely actually. I am there all the time by myself, and it would really be a nice change to have someone there to talk to, even if it is only for a few days."

"Ha." Cas chuckled. "Can't find your type. It doesn't seem like you would have a problem with that around here, considering that fact that you are probably just about every girl's "type"."

"That may be true, but I can't help the way I am, I can't help that the person I think is my "type" is standing right in front of me, and they don't even realize that."

With that his eyes darted away from the crack in the sidewalk he seemed to be examining so intently, and met mine.

"I know it sounds creepy considering I literally just met you a few hours ago, but I can just tell that you are the one I have been looking for, the one that I thought I would never meet, and now you are here and I don't want to leave and I don't want you to leave."

"Dean, stop! I haven't been here long, but I know one thing. Some people down here don't particularly like people like us."

"Ya, I know Cas. I have lived in this stupid city all my life, and hid who I was from everyone all my life. I am tired of it. I don't want to hide anymore. We are people too, why should we live in fear because of who we choose to love!"

"Dean, please. I know what some of the groups of people around here would do us. They would take us, drag us away and torture us, or worse; kill us. They think we are filthy and that we are less than human, that we are godless, unworthy creatures. Please, I am just worried."

That was Cas for you though. Always so worried about everything. So protective, even when I had just met him. He cared so much. It was probably for good reason, but I still didn't want to live that way. He finally agreed to come and stay with me for a few days, but only after I agreed to be more subtle about things between us. The first night was wonderful. We walked back to the diner and got into my Impala, Cas letting out a little chuckle when he saw how old the car was. Regardless, he got in and we went to the airport to pick up his bags. After, we headed to the apartment to settle him in. 

"Well, this is it" I announced as we stepped through the door. "It isn't much, but it is does the trick."

"No, it is great. It is perfect. Um, so I guess I will just take the couch then."

"Uh, ya. Sure. Sounds good! Do you need anything? Pillows, blankets, something to drink or eat?"

"Sure, some blankets and pillows would be great. I am freezing." Cas replied as he laid his bags down next to the couch. I walked down the small hallway to my own bedroom to retrieve the blankets from the closet, and I grabbed one of my pillows from my bed for him.

"Hey, sorry the only pillow I had was one off of my bed. I can go wash it first if you would like, or change the pillow case."

"No, it is fine. I don't mind." A smile sat on Cas's lips as he reached his hand out to take the pillow and blankets from my hand. I handed them over and Cas plopped down with them on the couch exhausted. 

"Ok, well I guess I will let you get to sleep then; you're probably exhausted."

"Actually, I thought I was, but I can't seem to keep my eyes closed. I don't know what it is." Now he was looking over at me, staring right into my eyes and smiling. I smiled right back.

"Well, If you aren't tired, then I guess we could try and make you tired."

He gave me a playful grin as he slowly began to remove the layers of clothes he had adorned his body with. First his tan trench coat; then he slowly unbuttoned every button on his white, button down shirt until finally I could take it no longer and I raced to the couch and yanked the rest of the buttons free, revealing his soft chest. Then he began to tug at the hem of my t-shirt until I sat down with him and let him gently ease it off my body and over my head. 

"Are you sure?" I questioned.

"If I wasn't sure, would I have let it get this far?"

The rest of that night all kind of became a dreamy, wonderful blur. I can remember that we didn't do much sleeping that night. When we finally had decided to sleep, we made our way to my bedroom and saw that it was about four in the morning. Neither of us had anywhere to be the next morning, so we both decided we would just sleep in together, and wake when it pleased us to do so. 

We didn't end up coming to consciousness until roughly noon. By then, our Saturday was practically wasted, so we just laid in bed a while longer and talked, and talked, and talked. We talked about him, and me, and more importantly; we talked about us.

"So, you are a teacher then? Have you always wanted to be a teacher?"

"Ever since I can remember." His warm breath fluttered across my chest as he lay his head on my shoulder. "What about you Dean? What do you want to be?"

"Ha, I don't even know anymore. I though I did, but recently that has all been changed."

"What do you mean? How has it changed?"

"Well I have always thought that I wanted to be a racer. You know, traveling the world; a new city everyday; new races every night. Now, well now I am not so sure. I only know one thing that I want, and that is you."

Cas lifted his head up and looked up into my eyes, "And I want you. Forever. No matter what the costs, or what the dangers are. We will make it work."

Him saying that was the only thing that had made me cry in, I can't even remember how long. I tried to push it back to look strong in front of him, but can still remember how much the tears burned, and how choked up my throat had become as I tried to force the tears back. Eventually, I couldn't hold them anymore and a single, warm tear slipped down my face. Cas caught the tear with his thumb and wiped it away. Slowly and gingerly, he brought his mouth to mine and kissed me for what seemed like decades then. Then he buried his head full of tousled hair into my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. I remember wishing in that moment to never have to leave that bed ever again; to just stay there, wrapped up the in blankets with Cas.

Finally Cas slid his arms off of me and slid out of the bed. I opened my eyes and watched him make his way to the bathroom. All I could think was that I had no idea how this had happened; how had we ended up here after just one night of chatting in a diner. There was something between us the very moment we looked at each other at that booth. I knew it, and I knew that he knew it.


	2. Dean's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two have developed a routine, but Cas has also developed some more worries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short chapter guys! I have been pretty busy lately with school, scholarships, etc....I will try to make the next one longer.

The next few days, went smoothly. We had quickly developed a routine. Cas no longer even tried to sleep on the couch, always and only in my bed. In the morning, we would get up and I would make coffee while he took a shower. Once he got out of his shower, we would share coffee together, then I would take a shower. It was still the middle of summer, so school hadn't started yet, which meant we were with each other all day. A few times we had ventured out and gone to a movie, or the market. We went to the diner almost every night, and every night we went over to the jukebox and put on "Lost in You". As the sound of our song faded away, we got up from our seats and made our way to the car once again. 

The few days that Cas was going to stay at my apartment, gradually turned into weeks, then months. It was in the second month that we ran across some problems. Problems, which at the time seemed monumental and unbearable, but in the reality of it were nothing compared to what was to come. Compared to what I had never fathomed would happen.

"Dean, I have noticed that we are getting looks from people at the diner, on the streets, in the store. What if someone jumps to conclusions?"

"Cas, honey. We will be fine. Remember; forever. I won't let anything happen." I assured him as I drew him in for a hug, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

"I know Dean. I just don't want anything to happen to you; to us." His voice was muffled and shaky now; he had buried his face as far into my coat as he could. He was truly scared, and that sparked a rage in me to destroy whatever or whoever had caused this fear. 

"You don't have to worry, I will take care of everything. We won't be caught."

"Dean!" He had pulled his face away from me now, "You don't understand. We are not safe. Society may be changing, but not everyone is changing with it, especially some of the people down here in the south. There are still hate groups out there who would do horrible things if they caught us or even suspected us."

"Cas. I know that; it is why we are being so careful. The only time we ever act like we are more than just friends is here at home. How could they know?"

"Dean, they have people everywhere. There are probably people who live in this very building who are part of those groups. They see us everyday and just one mistake of them possibly seeing too much could ruin us!"

That was the first time we had ever gotten into any kind of argument. He was so cautious and full of worry, but I tried to bury mine away so I didn't have to focus on it. That was my one mistake. When you aren't worried about something, that is the perfect time for it to attack. When you least expect it.

I had never noticed before, but there was always one man, about forty five years old, he was always in the diner when were, at the market when we were, and always in the hallway when we got home. I don't know what he saw, or what he had heard, but it had been enough to cause issues.


End file.
